Is Aveiro, Portugal the Home of the Swamp Creatures?

My search for joy in Aveiro met strange twists

Along a Canal in Aveiro, Portugal (photo by author)

After moving to a mold-free apartment, I wanted to focus on the brighter side of Aveiro. However, it was almost impossible to find.

Dating Mishaps At the Pub

Upon arriving in Aveiro, I had located a local pub for football game viewing and a pint or two. While I had visited a couple of candidates, I settled on the pub with the friendliest locals and staff as well as good TVs that gave it the best atmosphere.

One night I headed to the pub to watch a football game. One of the locals, a woman about my age who had been helpful in getting me oriented to the city, was hanging out at the bar. My new friend was already full of the spirits and kept trying to convince me to go to the movies with her that weekend. While I was not averse to a night at the movies, I was getting slightly annoyed at all the interruptions as she knew how much I wanted to see the game.

I am nothing if not naive. Later, I realized she was asking me on a date. Great. The first date I’ve been asked on in a while has no chance of happening as for better or worse, I am 100% hetero. Even if I liked the ladies, she hit the recreational drugs quite hard with a group of local friends and I have all I can handle when I get on the red wine.

A few nights later, I met a man who wanted me to join him at his table. "Why not?", I thought. Surely my luck in Aveiro will change at some point. Unfortunately, that was not to be the night. The man spent the entire time mansplaining why his way of doing things was better than anything I did. For example, he said he liked to bike. I said, “Great! I also like to bike. I used to ride my bicycle all over NYC.” His rolled his eyes and said, “No. I mean REAL bikes. Like my motorcycle.”

This annoying one-upping went on while I tried to find a way to casually excuse myself. I was sure to see him here again so I did not want things to be awkward. Before I could escape, he insisted I meet him after work the following evening for dinner. When I refused, he apparently could not take the blow to his ego and the following conversation ensued.

Annoying Man: “Aaaah. You like girls..”

Me. “Not that I know of.”

Annoying Man: “But I saw you with one last night.”

Me: “I was talking to one of the pub locals. She hangs out here a lot. Surely you’ve met her?”

Annoying Man: “But I can tell you like women. Do you like both?”

Me: “Not that I know of. I just like men. (With one notable exception at the moment.)”

Annoying Man: “Ahh, but I saw you with her.”

Me: “OMG.”

I got up and walked off.

Powering Through the Canals with a View of Modern Buildings (photo by author)

Aveiro is NOT the Venice of Portugal

Aveiro claims to be the “Venice of Portugal”. I guess considering all the Portuguese cities, it comes the closest. But don’t let the marketing hype fool you. It’s not even a good knock-off. Let’s just say if they had a store for knockoffs of Venice like they do designer handbags in New York City’s ChinaTown, Aveiro would not be in the inventory.

Venice is a collection of 118 islands, approximately 170 canals, and over 400 bridges that allow you to wander the watery city.

Aveiro has three canals.

Another significant difference between Aveiro and the magical city of Venice, is that while one is getting pleasantly lost wandering the narrow streets of Venice, there are no cars. Venice is a series of islands and zero cars are allowed on the narrow streets. While wandering in Aveiro, you must mind the cars as they are everywhere.

In Aveiro, the gondolas, called “moliceiros”, are much wider and longer than Venice’s sleek boats. Instead of being powered by a gondolier with an oar, who, if you are in Venice, might serenade you in a sexy Italian voice, these boats are powered by a motor, zipping you through the three canals after you pay your fare. On board these boats, you will join a large group of tourists as the “gondolas” can hold up to 34 people.

In Venice the maximum capacity is five.

Finally, while Venice is a beautiful old city, providing lovely views throughout your gondola ride, in Aveiro you will be motored through canals that outside of a few downtown blocks, are not really picturesque.

What Lurks in the Waters of Aveiro's Canals (photo by author)

Are the Aveirense Swamp Creatures?

One night while discussing my former landlady and all her nastiness, the bartender at the local pub said he was not surprised as he and his boyfriend could not wait to get out of Aveiro. They were desperately trying to save enough money to move to Porto. 

From my experiences, the Portuguese are very tolerant of all sexual orientations. However, he told me about one afternoon when he was picking up things for the pub in a local bodega, a man asked him why he was wearing a face mask. He explained he was trying to keep himself Covid free as a co-worker had tested positive and was still coming to work, not wearing a mask. 

He went on to explain to the man that his husband had been through a lot of trauma while working with severely ill Covid patients during the height of the pandemic. He wanted to spare him from any more angst over the illness. As he waited for more criticism about wearing a mask, he was surprised when the man switched gears, appalled that he was gay. He interrogated him, asking him what makes him interested in men? Do his parents know? Are they okay with him being with a man? 

As we discussed this judgmental man, my nasty landlord, the narcissistic man who asked me out and all the hard core drug users, we devised a theory that perhaps it is something in the water in the canals that is making the locals act out. Maybe the water is toxic due to a chemical spill? Maybe they drink the toxic water? Maybe these Aveirense fell in the canal at some point and became Swamp Creatures?  

Leaving Aveiro

On my last morning in Aveiro, I ran down for a quick coffee and my morning Portuguese study session at my local cafe. I was one of the first people in the cafe. I wanted to catch an early train out of Aveiro, eager to once again try to make a fresh start in a new town.

After I finished my coffee, I hurried back to my apartment, grabbed my bag, made sure I was not leaving anything behind and rushed to catch my train. As the train pulled out of the station, I focused on looking forward as Aveiro faded in the background.